The Silent Killer

The powers that be refer to almost everything as "The Silent Killer", which is a little frightening when you think we have all these little murderers inside us. I think it's time I told you... it's me. Yup, I am that sneaky, backhanded, lurking spy. Imagine: you are a South American or better yet any hispanic person living in your home country. You see a girl taller than most men, with blonde hair that really is kind of orange, walking like she is on a mission because in her home country everyone is on a mission. Immediately you assume Foreigner because what else could you think? 

Now imagine what this leads you to. Inevitably you make comments to your friend at your side, about foreigners or This Girl Over Here or whatever it may be, in your native language (In this case, I only refer to Spanish). Why would you think this orange-blonde girl could possibly understand?! 

That is where the fun comes in. This is where I ask a question like "Where do I find the Art Museum?" or "What time is it?" or just anything that comes to mind and they look like they've been caught with their pants down in a public restroom. She speaks our language!?

Yesterday, I went on an excursion with my "uncle" from my Spanish host family who happened to be visiting his mother in Córdoba, Argentina this weekend. He started talking about fútbol with the taxi driver and I threw in a tidbit about the World Cup and then referred to baseball. The driver almost lost his cool, to which Uncle mentioned that's his favorite game to play with people who don't assume I understand. It really is fun!

The best part about it, which really isn't so different from being back in the states and playing the blonde card, is that when I don't want to pay attention, I don't have to! Obviously I wouldn't understand anyway, so if I just sit and zone out, no one thinks a thing of it! This becomes a problem when I'm at a party on a Friday night where a baby pig is roasting in the barbecue (Yes, it was as delicious as it sounds) and everyone there has already heard me speaking Spanish and asked if I'm from Spain. When I zone out everyone thinks something is wrong with me, so I just blame it on the accent and we all move on! 

That being said, I think this is the last trip I will take for a while that is so comfortable. Traveling in Spanish-speaking countries is wonderful for me... I could get a driver's license, apply for unemployment, fight with someone in the street, make telephone orders, change my name and/or marital status without a problem. I need to go somewhere where I have no idea what is going on around me. Where I really am just an innocent bystander in all senses of the word and where playing stupid when a Metro official is giving me a fine for not having a ticket is actually believable. I mean, what Madrid Metro official is going to believe that someone fluent in Spanish with a true Castillian accent didn't know what zone she was going to? Touché, dude, touché. 

(I obviously paid that fine - and it was almost two years ago, I've grown up so much since that day)