I’ve been meaning to write this post for a long time, ever
since living in Spain when on a daily basis I was reminded of the cultural
differences between my life growing up in a small town, going to a small
college, and then living in a city of 5 million people whose lives had taken
considerably different routes and through a unique cultural context that
separated us. The world is small, yes, but Spain really is different. As they
say, Spain is Spain (“España es España”). Spain is so different that on a daily
basis all I wanted was to shake the country, look them in the eyes and say “WHAT
IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING!?” while underneath it all I just wanted to find a
way to live there forever. Maybe that’s not a feeling many of you have ever had…
The superstitions and beliefs are the theme that has come
about recently, thanks to a Facebook post in which I commented on being able to
eat more than a single cookie for breakfast in America. Spaniards were none too
happy about that one, and they really let me hear it. Problem is, I really
believed that wasn’t acceptable. You give me a tube of cookies when I haven’t
eaten in 10 or 12 hours, I’m not going to eat many fewer than 10 cookies. And I’ll
have to stop myself at 10 cookies, really restrain myself from eating an entire
tube. Spaniards don’t have that problem – somehow they can eat two cookies and
have a little sandwich at 10:30 and then not eat until 2:30 when they go for
the big lunch. Good for you, you are stronger than I. I am a fat American.
It is morning until
lunch. If you haven’t grabbed a fork and knife and started in on your first
plate of lunch, it is still morning. You wake up at 11:00, have a cookie, go
out and about and don’t eat lunch until 17:00? Morning until 17:00. Food
dictates the schedule, something I really fell into and supported easily. I
wish we could take things a bit slower in the US in order to place more
importance on people and mealtimes.
No eating alone in
public. You just don’t do it. Have a granola in your bag that you want to
eat on a park bench? Frowned upon. Think you can grab that sandwich on the go
and eat it in the Metro? Bring on the glares. Really, I’ve seen a Latin
American woman nearly get holes burned through her from the looks of the people
in our train car.
Keep your hands on
the table. Napkin stays on the table; hands don’t foray to your lap. Hands
stay near your plate, in sight. Wipe your hands on the napkin while it’s on the
table, keep your bread in a hand, do whatever it takes to make sure you don’t
get those hands under the table. Not sure what happens if they don’t, but I’m
nearly positive they put rabid possums under there to eat your fingers off.
No yawning or
stretching in public. A Spanish friend told me you can do this, but in my
experience she is terribly wrong. You’re tired in the morning and want a good
stretch to shake out the nighttime aches and pains? Don’t do it in an English
Department with your fellow teachers. Apparently rude, don’t ask me why.
There are many ways
to avoid illness. 1. Do not go outside with wet hair. You will likely
immediately contract a deathly bug and that’ll be the end of you. 2. Wear a
scarf and stockings/socks ALWAYS, unless it’s 90+ degrees. This is also
scientifically proven. I was GASPED at when not wearing stockings with ballet
flats when it was 60 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s the fastest way to die, showing
that neck to the cold monsters or those bare ankles to all the illnesses
swirling through the cold air. Anyone in medical school might as well quit and
go into preventative medicine now.
I love you Spain, I really do, but some of the things you do
are just bonkers.
